Monday, December 29, 2008
today is monday.. when i wake up during aftenoon, i ate a bowl of laksa ( dunno bought from who de ).. and i called winnie workplace clinc for an interview on tues 11am.. aft dat i wait for the person dat repair the bedroom door de to cum dear hse to do those doors.. aft they do finish le, i went out to look for dear at ah bo hse downstair.. and i heard frm dear dat ah xin grandpa jus pass away.. i was so shock as it is veri sudden.. dan me, dear, tat n ah bo go interchange to eat.. aft dat we went to ah xin grandpa ' songka' to chat and play mahjong.. and i win $48 frm tiger at mahjong session.. haha.. so happy.. coz i lose at 1st de.. bt luckily i win back.. aft dat we go eat at 527 dan went home le.. dat's all for today events..
-our
love story ;
dear diary, this is the post for sun 28.12.08 de.. haiz ytday me and dear stay at home play mahjong wif ah tat n ah lu n ah boy.. coz too many ppl so we need to take turn to play.. and dear mon gt stuff to do.. and the tink is dat he nid to go malaysia to pray.. dan on sun which is the day dat he need to go pray de.. i heard dat dear's mum callin him to ans the phone call which is called by ah kai ( who is goin malaysia wif him too de ) dan i was too lazy to climb out frm bed, coz i was too tired.. so i tell dear's mum to tell ah kai dat i wil cal dear to call him back by using his hp.. and dan i actually fall aslp n forget abt tis.. and dear miss his trip goin to malaysia.. aft i wake up he actualy scolded me.. he say i propesly dun wanna call him n let him stay at my side so he can continue to slp and wun go malaysia.. i was FUCKING ANGRY.. coz i hate bein accusse by any1.. i didn' propersly do dat.. i tink i was too tired dan i wil forget.. bt he was DAMN PISS OFF dat y i nv call him instantly.. i was tinkin dat if dat is so important to him, y can't he wake up himself.. and the most sad tink he do is he go CRAZY again.. sayin all those DAMN HURTFUL tinks to me.. those tinks r lik THOUSANDS OF KNIFES cuttin my heart to mash.. n making me more worst is dat he say he is goin china on my actual b'day.. i was DAMN DEPRESS.. i was wondering y is god so evil seein dat i hurt till i wanna die le.. dan he can stil let me suffer lik tis.. and y dun he jus brin me away to another world.. and aft dear scolded me and went out aft a few hrs later he came back hm.. he suddenly treat me in a normal way back.. i dunno who talk sense to him, to make him bcum his normal self.. and he came back he straight away check did i hurt myself.. and i actually used a lighter to cut my hand.. i tink i was abit OUT OF MY MIND coz of HIM.. i can bcum veri EMOTIONAL bcuz of HIM.. i dunno y i bcum lik dat.. haiz.. anywan aft dat we went to pei ah boy go see doc coz he hurt his both legs while playin soccer.. and while we were waitin we go have dinner wif ah lu.. and later tiger join us.. aft dat we go dear hse play mahjong wif tiger n ah lu.. and later ah bo n botok cum up to dear hse to see us play.. and finally we have an early night dat night coz we only play 1 round.. dat's all for sat n sun events.. haha..
-our
love story ;
Monday, December 22, 2008
dear diary, today me n dear quarrel again.. damn.. y is tis tinks keep repeatin.. i only hope to have a peacful relationship wif him, is dat veri hard.. haiz.. i dun understand y must he lik others.. y he wanna push me to dead end.. y he wanna make me so sad everyday.. y must he condem me.. i realy dun understand.. i hate dat feelin dat ppl accusse me.. and i oso hate ppl sayin me dat im wat kind of person n wat will i be in future.. FUCK.. i know wat im tinkin.. i know wat i will b.. so pls stop all tis SHIT, dat as if u all know me well.. DAMN.. no 1 know me at all.. did any1 try to understand my feelin.. can any1 put themselves into my shoes.. i only need a person to understand me, love me truly n care for me, is it realy DAMN HARD.. m i askin too much.. y all those tinks dat i hav done i still deserve tis kind of treatment n toture.. my head is burstin open.. my heart is almost being torn apart.. when i realy need some1 who is realy there for me.. who is there to hear my naggin, understand my feelin n care for me.. no 1.. bt when they nid me i wil b there.. is any1 treatin me fairly.. y dun god jus take me away frm here.. i realy suffer n hav enough.. coz in every1 eyes im jus A PILE OF SHIT.. they say my character sux, they tink dat im nt a gd person n im worst dan any1 out there.. so pls stop all tis.. i realy can't take it anymore.. jus let me die.. mayb i will feel much better n mayb they will too.. n mayb when i die they will tink of me for a second n mayb miss me.. coz ppl only know hw 2 treasure when they lost it..
-our
love story ;
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
hey diary.. tis few weeks me & dear de relationship is lik a roller coaster, sometime up and sometime dwn making me wanna go crazy le.. haiz.. i hav been crying almost everyday during tis week.. and each cry de duration last about more dan 1 hrs.. i'm feeling so hurt by him.. coz he say he dun hav any feelin for me anymore le.. haiz.. wat should i do to gain back the love.. today 17.12.08, 7am, dear ask me will i ever let go of this relationship no matter wat happen.. i keep quiet for a moment n didn't ans him.. dan he say he noe my ans le.. dan i ask him wat's my ans n he really noe wat i'm tinkin.. and i ask him back wat abt u, and he reply dat he wun.. maybe dat's e most happy tinks dat happen to me for this past few weeks.. i hope dat ans he realy meant it.. anyway his b'day is tomoro, hoping i can giv him a memorable b'day celebration.. i will continue writin soon..
-our
love story ;
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
dear diary.. on sunday while i was slpin halfway, i had damn bad dream.. haiz.. i dream of dear outside gt other ger.. and the ger look like me bt she is more slim dan me.. and i saw my ex bf de fren on my dream and he told me dat he saw my bf wif other ger outside.. feelin damn sad and thinkin alot.. althought it's jus a dream bt it seems so real.. wow veri scary lor.. anyway dear is back frm china on sunday 7.12.08.. and nw is 9.12.08 he didn't bother cum n find me.. wth.. y promise me when u know u can't do it.. u say dat u r nt free u need 2 do ur stuff, bt y can go play mahjong, watch soccer n bring ur frengo see doc.. u can do all tis tinks, bt jus dun hav spare time for me.. who m i 2 u.. wat place did i hold in ur heart.. i really doubt myself n u.. mayb i dun hav enough confident in myself.. i seems so lost.. FUCK MAN.. n actualy i today wanna go ah mah hse wif ah mei de.. bt she jus bloody lie 2 me.. and in e end she go into fish farm wif her sis n left me alone lik a bloody idiot.. and ah ying dun let me go inside her hse.. i feel lik y every1 wanna lie 2 me.. m i lik a stupid fool, who's veri easily believe u all tis FUCKER.. damn.. i veri disappointed in tis world n ppl who is around me.. only AH MAH is still the BEST.. who nv lie 2 me n nv do all those SHIT tinks to me de.. dat's all for today.. i'm tired le..
-our
love story ;
ferlinHUANG!